nineteen.

I felt you in my life before I ever thought to.

I need to lay down beside you and tell you:

I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you.

and now we're saying bye, bye, bye.

I was nineteen, calling me.

Nineteen is a funny age. Not like "haha" funny, but just different. You're not in your twenties yet. You're still a teenager, yet you don't have the burden of responsibilities that you suddenly had to take on when you turned eighteen. I don't think I've had an age fit me as well as nineteen does right now. I feel nineteen. I don't feel eighteen anymore, and I definitely don't feel twenty yet. I'm happy to be in the middle. I've been a young "adult" for a year, but that's as far as I've gotten. I'm still figuring so much out, but I am at least starting to get a grasp on who I am and what I want.

I'm also just really excited for another year. Eighteen was crazy. Almost everything in my life has changed in the past year. I had just as many ups as I had downs. I'm hoping that this year will be steadier but just as exciting. 

I spent my birthday relaxing. I went shopping with my sister. My brother bought me winter candles. I painted my nails sparkly in my own personal celebration. I spent some much needed time with my best friend. I admitted that I'll probably never be too old for cookie cake. I was very thankful for the warm welcome I received from my hall-mates when I got back to school. My roommate's present to me consisted of film(!!!), dark chocolate, a disposable camera, gingerbread spice tea, and Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes.